The Squamidian Report – July 23 / 16
Issue #739
Including:
The Ontarion
Hi All,
This past Monday I enjoyed my 500th trip up the gondola. Thats a
lot of rides up and down that thing. It means I've ascended at total of
500km and descended a total of 500km. It means I've covered a
horizontal distance of 2000km while riding the gondola cars because its
2km in each direction making for a total round trip, per trip, of 4km.
No wonder they all seem to know my name, and I theirs. I can truly say
I've been up there during every kind of weather imaginable and tend to
prefer the less that perfect kind. When its hot and sunny and perfect
from a tourist point of view it tends to be crowded with tourists.
Funny how that works. And, when its clear and sunny the scenery isn't
as dynamic as when there are cloud layers or mist or rain or snow.
Currently and finally, we are headed into some of that clear hot
tourist weather and thats a good time to stay away, at least on the
weekends. Even during the week its good practice to get there early and
get out before it gets too busy. Face it, I like having the place to
myself.
Want to know how to tell that we have had a cool wet spring and early
summer? By looking at the banana slugs, thats how. Normal west coast
weather included enough rain or heavy dew to encourage those slimy
things to just keep on growing and we'd end up with them all over the
place and they would be the size of winers or even big sausages. The
last few years have seen hot dry summers and that forced the slugs to
stay in whatever cool dark spot they could find and to stay small.
However, this year they are back in full number and size. We see them
on the sidewalks in the morning as we walk the dog. You would not want
to step on one because the resulting mess on the bottom of your shoe
would be worse than stepping in something the dog might leave behind.
Mind you, if you are a responsible dog owner your dog won't be leaving
anything behind because you'd be cleaning it up. And that takes me back
to the slugs. Those things eat an amazing array of things including
doggie doodoo. And we have a disturbing number of dog owners around
here who do not clean up after their cute little pooch. I guess they
figure their dog is special or that somehow it's dump isn't a problem.
So, banana slugs to the rescue. There are often several slimy sluggers
chomping away at a crime scene. By the time the morning sun drives them
back into the shady underbrush there isn't much left except for an area
of excessive slime. Makes me wonder what something that eats doodoo
excretes. Interesting question.
And likewise for the forest trails. Those big slugs have made a good comeback. Bottom line, watch where you step.
And lastly, 'The Wife' is back. Willow and I picked her up at YVR late
Wednesday evening. I'm not a night person but if one must drive into
and through the city, thats the best time, that and very early in the
morning. Her flight was supposed to get in about 10:50pm but didn't
arrive unto about 11:10. The drive home was ok because by then the city
traffic had eased off and once we were up on the highway we had the
road to ourselves. We also had the full moon under clear skies. Full
moon was actually the night before but it was close enough. The night
before was overcast so the moon was not visible. Driving up the Sound
in the middle of the night under a full moon is quite spectacular. The
water, the mountains, they all stand out under the moon light. Very
different from daylight but very nice in deed. Anyway, she's home now
and now I must behave myself again. Oh well.
doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
With the excessive heat we’ve been experiencing over the past few
weeks, it’s no wonder our lawns are lovely and brownish in colour. I do
say though, after a two-week rest from mowing the grass I’ll be hauling
out the mower some time in the next day or so! It seems that every
third or fourth blade still manages to grow, even in this hot weather.
I‘ve got to say that this heat doesn’t stop the weeds from flourishing!
We still have greenery growing up in the sidewalk cracks and along the
edge of the sidewalks where I whipper-snip a nice neat gully to frame
the lawn and make it stand out when compared to others in the
neighbourhood. I guess the weeds find it easier to grow in those areas.
I’ll have to break out the “Whipper-Snipper” as well after mowing the
lawn and make sure to clean out those gullies. Wouldn’t want the dog
walkers and local gawkers to think I’m sitting down on the job now
would we? LOL! One of the benefits of taking good care to groom one’s
lawn is the fact that most of the pedestrians and sidewalk bikers stay
the hell off the lawn after seeing the effort put forth. I haven’t had
even a kid cut the corner on his bike in a few years now and I’ve
finally succeeded in having the corner of the lawn match the rest of
the front yard. It’s been nice and green and lush for a few years now
as well! With the posting of a good sized note on the front storm door
window we’ve even managed to stop the mailman from cutting across the
lawn to deliver his “mostly JUNK mail”! We figured if we didn’t put a
stop to his shortcut in short order, there’d be a strip worn after only
a few weeks and you know how hard it is to grow grass on a busy street,
as they say! I even picked up a bag of summer fertilizer this afternoon
and am just waiting for the weather girl to tell us when it’s going to
rain so I can feed it to our slowly degrading lawn. The heat and
sunshine hasn’t hurt the flourishing crop of raspberries Carole has at
the side of the house. We’ve been picking a modest bowl of berries
about every second day for a couple of weeks now but today I was
shocked at how many of the little red beauties were hanging on the
bushes. I literally filled a cereal bowl with berries and Carole placed
them into a Zip Lock bag. They’ll make a good garnish to top off a bowl
of cereal or even ice cream some day. Carole tried to grow a couple of
blueberry bushes along side the raspberry bushes but the raspberry
bushes simply overgrew the wimpy blueberry ones. Even our rhubarb
plants haven’t done very well in the same garden. The rhubarb only
produced skinny little whippy stems and didn’t even give Carole enough
to make one measly pie! What’s up with that? Usually rhubarb can’t be
contained and winds up with leaves the size of elephant ears and stems
like fence posts! Oh well, I guess maybe they needed a spot of their
own with more sunshine and moisture or something! We went for a drive a
few weeks ago out in the country and stopped at a roadside stand by a
farm lane. The farmer had one of those “on your Honour” veggie stands
where you’re supposed to be trusted to put the money in a jar for
whatever you take from the stand. Well, they had the most delicious
looking HUGE Rhubarb bundles we’ve seen in a long time and we just
couldn’t resist. We bought all four of the bundles of stems they had on
sale. There were four stems in each bundle with elastic around them.
The stems were about 38” long and at least 3” in diameter each! I’m not
kidding, these things were huge and lovely and ripe! When we got home,
Carole cleaned them up and cut and placed the results into Zip Lock
bags and froze them for future use. She was so impressed with the size
and quality of the rhubarb we took a drive back out to the same farm
the next day and bought some more bundles right out of the rhubarb
patch. Wow, did the ladies on the farm ever have a huge garden of
rhubarb! I watched as she harvested a half dozen more bundles for us
and I swear, I thought she might have to use a chain saw to cut through
the stocks! She actually had a difficult time uprooting and cutting
each stem! Anyway, we now have a healthy store of pie fillings in the
freezer so Carole can make winter less agonizing next year, at least
food wise that is! Nothing like a lovely hot piece of rhubarb pie and
ice cream on a winter’s day!
Well, I’ve gone from dead grass to flourishing
rhubarb crops and I think I’m about out of ideas for this week. Please
forgive me for cutting things short this week! I hope I’ve at least
made your mouths water with this weeks blurb and hope you’ll all join
me again next time!
That’s all for this week folks! Thanks for tuning in!
Bye for now… Greg
I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!
PS: Something To Think About>
“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’!”
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Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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