The Squamidian Report – Dec. 6 / 08
Issue #341
Including:
Sad Christmas news from Ottawa (A Note From Russ)
The Ontarion
Hi All,
I’m not sure if I’m bragging or confessing, but I don’t have to put up the outdoor Christmas lights this year. You see, I was able to procrastinate taking them down for so long last winter that by late summer and into early fall, the wife finally gave up nattering at me to take them down. So they stayed up and are still there, ready to be plugging and turned on. I’m hoping that they still work. Wouldn’t that be a bummer if when I turned them on, they didn’t. All that ‘putting it off’, and evading ‘taking them down’ would have been for nothing. However, it could be a while yet before I test them because I’ve been procrastinating about turning them on. It is after all, a whole three weeks yet till Christmas. Three weeks??.. yikes… I’d better soon start procrastinating about doing some shopping!
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We missed seeing that conjunction of the crescent moon, Venus and Jupiter early in the week because that particular evening was overcast and rainy. However, a couple of days later we had a deliciously beautiful evening. The moon had moved to the east (relative to the planets) but was still close enough to be part of the show. There was a spectacular sunset over Howe Sound that started with pink wisps of cloud high over the mountains to our west and built up to a blazing golden display out toward the mouth of the Sound and over toward Vancouver Island to the south west. The two planets shown brightly through a sky that was still showing half daylight blue. By the time the blue had faded away with the sunset the stars were visible, but the planets dominated the southwest sky like landing lights on an airplane.
All the winter constellations are visible now (have been for quite a while). They are arguably the most picturesque and most interesting of the yearly sky. One of the benefits of the approaching winter is that the air is often clearer and more stable, even in the heavily populated, built up areas of the country, making for better viewing. Dark comes earlier as well making it perfect for viewing or just plain old fashion stargazing. All you need is a pair of eyes. If you want to take it a bit further, there is a really great free open source astronomy program out there that has the best graphics of any astronomy program I’ve ever seen. It can be downloaded from: http://www.stellarium.org/ . And like I said, it is free.
Just go to that web site and click on the button in the upper right corner that corresponds to your operating system. That will take you to the download page. Download the install file, and the PDF user manual if you want. Once you’ve installed the program, it will let you input your location. That’s important because the program uses your location and the time setting from your computer to give you the sky from your location’s prospective. Enjoy!
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And Now My Little Editorial!
This has been quite a week, politically speaking. Very interesting how emotions can run so high in a country that never seems able to get excited over anything. The outcome from all the turmoil was the only logical outcome possible. Very sad and unnecessary to have been forced to go there at all. A few short weeks ago this country was the envy of the western world, with the strongest, most stable economy as the whole world sank into recession. But thanks to the arrogant, power-hungry greed of The Three Stooges, we have been reduced to the status of a third world country. We had better hope that things can calm down over the next six weeks or we will be a third world country with little if any chance of ever recovering.
doug
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Sad Christmas news from
Ottawa:
There will be no Nativity Scene in Ottawa! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Canada’s capital this Christmas season. This isn’t for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation’s capitol.
P.S. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
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THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
I’m shocked that we’re into December already! I guess time marches on! It’s been such a quick year to me, do you feel the same? Seems like only yesterday we were enjoying sunshine and warm temperatures. I guess all things must change as they say. Which reminds me, I asked all of you last week for your favourite Santa story and I can’t for the life of me imagine why none of you has answered the call. Well, I guess it’s up to me to take the lead on this one. I’ll give you one of my favourite Christmas stories and it’s true too! (Wink Wink)!
It was on a cold clear evening December 24th and I was sitting in front of the TV with the rest of my crew at Fire Station #2 on Westmount Rd. We figured all would be quiet since it was Christmas Eve and most people were settled in for the night. One by one the guys began heading for the dorm to catch some rest so they’d be in shape to enjoy Christmas with their own kids in the morning. As I reached for the remote to turn off the TV the PA system crackled as it always did when we were about to receive an alarm. The dispatcher’s voice rang loud and clear “Station 2 and all Head Quarter’s units, we have a report of a house full of smoke at 245 Thornedale Drive”.
We suited up and headed for Thornedale Dr. Upon our arrival we found the owner his wife and their three children on the front driveway in their nightclothes. They directed us to the main living area where the rooms were fully charged with black smoke. When I asked what had alerted them I was told that their smoke detector had gone off and woke them up. They were lucky they had working detectors in their home. The owner told me that he had lit a fire in the living room fireplace around 10pm and after an hour or so they went to bed. My crew entered and found the smoke originating from the fireplace. They removed the remaining logs from the fire place and brought them outside. Once the threat was removed from the home, we proceeded to ventilate the home and clear the smoke. There was some smoke damage but no fire damage at all. It appeared that the chimney had somehow become blocked after the occupants had retired for the evening to their beds. I sent a crew up onto the roof of the sprawling bungalow to check the chimney and see what if anything was blocking it. One of my crew members shone a light down the flu of the chimney and noticed a complete blockage about eight feet down. It was unidentifiable from above so I asked one of the guys to bring up a 12’ pike pole to see if he could hook the blockage and haul it back up to the roof. We all figured it must be a raccoon or some other animal seeking warmth from the crisp midnight air of winter. The firefighter managed to hook the blockage with his pole and began to pull it upward. We heard a grunting sound as we tugged on the pike pole. I figured the …whatever it was…was at least still alive and we were prepared to fend off whatever wild reaction that might occur once we had it out on the roof. As we released the black sooty rumpled ball of fluff onto the roof we heard a sudden HO HO HO shouted from its upper end. We jumped back for a moment and then realized as it shook it’s self off that what we had freed from the chimney was indeed SANTA CLAUS! With another hearty HO HO HO, he laughed and shook like a bowl full of jelly and said loudly “I thank you gentlemen very much for your assistance in my rescue! However, now that I’m free again I must be off. I have many more chimney’s to visit before morning!” He then tumbled down the gentle slope of the roof and off the edge into a beautiful bright red sleigh that had been waiting patiently on the snow of the back lawn. Suddenly the reindeer, the sleigh and Santa were airborne and rapidly disappearing into the night sky! We were all in shock to say the least but were still alert enough to hear him exclaim as he rode out of sight “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! HO HO HO!”
You can believe this account of my most memorable Christmas at work or not but I happen to be telling the gosh honest truth! (I think)???
Oh well, it seems real to me!
That’s it for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now……Greg.
PS: Something To Think About>
I happen to think that Santa does exist! Every Christmas there is a true feeling of love and devotion in the hearts of millions of children and the adults that surround them and this feeling of love is indeed a spirit known as Santa Claus!
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Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.